The betrayal experienced by most partners of sex addicts is devastating and confusing. Sexual addiction, or compulsivity, is a relational betrayal because the addict’s primary loyalty to you is now, instead, with the addiction or compulsion. You need support through the trauma and suffering and help to navigate your choices and to figure out what comes next.

It is not unusual, when you first find out, to experience a host of symptoms such as:

• Flashbacks/re-experiencing the event of being told about the behavior, or accidently finding out
• Avoidance/numbing
• Sleep disturbances/nightmares
• Isolation from trusted people in your life
• Obsessive thoughts of the betrayals
• Hyper-arousal and hyper-vigilance
• Difficulty concentrating
• Depression/anger…lots of anger
• Mistrust of others
• Inability to identify your feelings
• Loss of your own sexuality
• Physical illnesses
• Panic attacks

If you have been living with this knowledge for some time your experiences might be different. You might be exhausted from trying to manage your partner’s behavior and wondering when his or her promises to change will ever be fulfilled.

If you are traumatized, part of your healing journey requires reestablishing your safety. I can help you manage the crisis, understand the nature of addiction and commit to your own personal healing.

Please remind yourself that you did not cause your partner’s addiction, you can’t control it and you cannot cure it. Hopefully, your partner is willing to engage in his or her own recovery. Either way, you need support.

I can help you with dealing with the trauma, setting healthy boundaries and working through grief and anger. There is hope to restore health and closeness in your relationship.